If my castle gets reset do I get items I purchased with actual money back?

Not sure what you mean by reset. Your castle will not lose any progress and as long as you bind the game to an external account you cannot lose it. Enemies can attack and kill off some troops and take resources but you are able to gain these back easily. If you are 'zeroed' then your castle will just relocate in the map and will recover its defenses.

In general all purchases are non refundable. But if you have an issue with any purchase such as not receiving what you paid for then you need to contact the game support or go through your app store account to request refunds.